I Took THE TEST (What It Was Like)

Do you have COVID-19?  How do you know?  I mean, you could be asymptomatic, right?  Have you been tested? 

Because testing has been opened up, I jumped on the State site and signed up for an appointment the following morning.  (When I say I jumped on it, I mean I JUMPED on it!)

The testing location wasn't terribly close to home - about 25 miles, but pretty close to a straight shot without many slowdowns or traffic lights.

So I drove up to Elwood (Red Gold Tomatoland) for my test.  That Man grew
up there, so it was a familiar drive.  I told him the address and described its map location, and he said there used to be a Harvest Market right about there.  He has a good memory!  I turned off the main street at the Harvest Market, went a couple of blocks farther, and there it was - the National Guard Armory.  Well, that makes sense!

I walked up toward the door and stood (6 feet) behind another person waiting to enter. 

We waited.  And waited.  And....

WAITED.

Finally a State Trooper came out, told us they just weren't set up yet, asked us which cars we were in, and said he'd come out to our cars to tell us when to go in.  Fair enough!

Back to the car.

Waited.  And waited.  AGAIN.

Then out came the trooper, stopping at each car in the parking lot.  The nurse who was supposed to do the testing hadn't shown up, so a different one was on her way.  He said we could come back in the afternoon at any time and get tested if we wanted.  I told him I couldn't come back that day because I had another obligation (That Man's physical therapy appointment) in the afternoon.  So he gave me a phone number to call to reschedule the test.

I drove home, and when I called the number (just past 10 o'clock in the morning), I got a recorded message saying the office was closed at this time, the hours are 7:00am to 8:00pm Central Standard Time, and please call during those hours. 

Wait a minute - what???  It was 10:00 Eastern Standard Time which would make it 9:00 Central. I was WELL within their office hours!  But if they're not there, they're not there.  Nothing I could do about that.

I tried again around 1:00 - and got a recorded message saying due to high call volume, all representatives were busy, I could probably get faster service on their website (except the website isn't set up for rescheduling!), or I could stay on the line for a LONG time and speak to a real person.  So I plugged in the phone, put it on speaker, and proceeded to putz around with other things until my call was answered. 

Well.

I got a lot of little things accomplished; I was on hold for nearly an hour!

I was, however, able to get rescheduled for the same time and place on the following day. 

So through the country I drove, up to Red Gold Tomatoland AGAIN.  To the Armory.  Up to the door, and...

They let me in!

Of course, I had to wear my homemade mask, and upon entering the front door, use hand sanitizer.  I waited at the closed door to the drill hall until a nurse waved me in.  The previously tested person had just left by the back door.  The nurse stood behind a clear vinyl curtain attached to a PVC pipe frame and asked to see my driver's license, and then to step around to a table to the left, where she placed a form for me to sign.  No contact.

A nurse wearing a face shield waved me over to her for the actual test.  Out came the dreaded SWAB.  Of course, I had to uncover my nose for these indignities.  Up one nostril - WAY up.  "Do you need a tissue?  Some people say this makes their eyes water," she said.  Well, I could definitely see WHY!  Up the other nostril - again, WAY up!  Eeyow!  It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

It wasn't all THAT bad, but when you don't know what to expect and you're a little nervous it's difficult to stay completely composed!  It didn't take long, though, and soon I was shown the back door, back in my car, and heading home. 

If it hadn't been for the nurse being a no-show the first day, it would have been a quick, smooth process.  But you know how the first day of anything is - glitchy!

I got my results in less than 72 hours - NEGATIVE! 

Now we KNOW.