Thursday, February 1, 2018

Protect the Tree!!!

I've just taken down our Christmas tree.  Yes, I know it's a bit late, but bear with me.

Let's be clear.  I am not a Let's-Take-Down-the-Christmas-Tree-Christmas-Night person.  Also not a day after Christmas, nor New Year's Day person.  I'm a Twelfth Night person.  All the way to Epiphany!  I want to enjoy Christmas to the max, by golly!

And the end of January isn't completely out of line.  There have been other years...

There was the year the tree was still up, fully decorated, in June.  That Man commented if I waited just a couple more weeks, we, like a now-defunct local appliance store, could have Christmas in July!  So we did.  Haha!  What a joke!  Then the tree came down.

There was the year the tree was still up, again fully decorated, in September, for my birthday.  Apparently, things got away from me.  As I prepared to take the tree down, That Man commented there really wasn't much point, since I'd just be putting it back up in two months.  Haha!  Such a comedian!  However, I couldn't let the danged tree win, so I took it down.  Then put it up 9 weeks later, the day after Thanksgiving.

No, we don't buy real trees.

This year I got a new tree.  When The Girl moved to Baltimore, we added her animals, two cats and a dog, to our two cats.  Cats plus amazing tall climb-y thing inside the house can be, well, interesting.

Our cats co-exist peacefully with the tree as long as ornaments hang from the branches.  I learned this the hard way.  One year, I didn't decorate the tree (again, things got away from me).  It looked appropriately festive, since it was pre-lit, but for some reason, the cats did not approve.  Or, maybe more correctly, they did approve - enthusiastically!

They climbed the branches and chewed the wires.  The branches broke and the lights went dark in random areas.  The poor, sad tree was trashed.

I learned my lesson - when the tree goes up, the ornaments must be installed immediately!  So things went along for years with no more tree troubles.

However, last year was the first Christmas with That Girl's cats in the house.  Turns out they have absolutely no respect for ornamentation.  Those two little devils climbed the tree, broke the branches, and chewed the wires, even though the branches were loaded with glass balls and other clattery things which spook the other cats.

The tree was trashed.

So we come to this year.  How to protect the tree?  Here's the solution I came up with for this year:


I blocked off the den with a tumbling mat, with the tree box on one side and a chair on the other to keep the mat upright.  Plus, we put a big piece of cardboard over it all to kind of keep a lid on things.  That egg-shaped thingy on the floor is a cat deterrent gadget.  The motion detector "sees" the cat, then it sprays compressed air in its direction.

In theory, at least.

The crazy egg thingy does spray the compressed air, but I have yet to discover what sets it off.  I walk in front of it - nothing.  A cat goes over and sniffs at it - nothing.  The dog trots by - nothing.  I wave my hand in front of the motion detector - still nothing.

Then, when nobody is nearby, it sprays.  Randomly.  Several times. Usually in the middle of the night.  So.  Annoying.

I finally gave up on the technology.  The physical barrier did its job.

Mostly.

I found a cat on the wrong side of the barrier, but the tree was unmolested.  I also found another cat lounging on top of the cardboard lid.

Twice.

Heavy sigh.

At least the tree survived, and I have several months to figure out how to protect it from animal incursions next Christmas.  Any suggestions?