Mothers Day weekend had a rocky start, but it was, overall, definitely better than just okay.
It all began Thursday. I am at the age that doctors insist you sign up for a series of invasive tests. This time it was the dreaded colonoscopy. FUN. The gastroenterologist's office had mailed me a prescription and instructions for the prep to be done on Thursday. It mainly consisted of what I can best describe as self-inflicted waterboarding. I had to mix FOUR LITERS of water with polyethylene glycol and electrolyte powder and drink it ALL, eight ounces every ten minutes, starting at four in the afternoon.
Uh, are you
kidding me???
At least there was a lemon flavor packet to supposedly make it more palatable. Just to be safe, I started at three. The first quart went down fairly quickly, but after that, I struggled. And struggled. And struggled. The stuff had an odd flavor, and an odder texture - too thick to be watery, but too runny to be thick. It made me gag just to think about drinking it. I sipped root beer between chug fests to get the taste out of my mouth. I got about two-thirds of it down by the time I went to bed at eleven. I never finished the whole jug. YUCK.
Friday was the colonoscopy itself. Not bad, except they had to knock me out, so That Man had the dubious pleasure of being my chauffeur to and from the hospital/torture chamber. After returning home, I ate a heavenly bacon deluxe cheeseburger, fries, and cookie dough concrete mixer (we had gone to the Culver's drive-thru), because I hadn't eaten since Wednesday midnight, then crashed into bed and slept until Saturday morning. UGH.
Saturday was JAMMED. I went to the plant sale at
Teter Organic Farm and bought my Mothers Day hanging flower baskets for the front porch and some plants for the garden. The wind swept across the fields in an attempt to turn the vegetable and herb plants into tumbleweeds, but I thwarted its evil designs and got everything loaded into my car. I went to lunch with some friends and had an amazing Hoosier pork tenderloin sandwich. And onion rings. And chocolate volcano cake. Oh my. So delicious. So decadent. So much talk. So much FUN. Thank you, Muldoon's!
Back home, I unloaded my plants and hung the baskets on the porch. Instant flowers! I climbed into the boat, and cleaned leaves and spruce needles out of the cockpit - no slimy mess this year - YAY! Everything was dry and easy to handle. I took the gas tank out of its locker, cleaned it up a little, drove to the Co-Op for gas, mixed in the two-cycle oil, drove home, and put the gas tank back. For dinner, I went to a Mexican restaurant with a different group of friends. More fun!
Sunday (Mothers Day), while I was at church, That Man loaded the truck with everything we need to launch the boat, hitched it to the truck, and moved it out of the backyard into the driveway. I got home, changed clothes, made a minor repair to the rudder, grabbed some work gloves, rousted The Boy out of bed, and drove to the marina, followed by That Man with the truck and boat. After raising the mast and mounting the motor and rudder in the parking lot, we got the boat launched, motored into the slip, its fenders out, and securely tied up. Whew! From the time I got home from church to leaving the marina was two hours - pretty good time. After that, I headed to the KFC drive-thru to procure the post-launch feast.
Best Mothers Day ever!!!
But that's not the end of the weekend's story. Monday, I got a followup call from one of the colonoscopy nurses. You know the drill. They call and ask whether you're having any problems and how they might improve the process. I told her I was more than fine, but surely there's a better way to prep. Well, she said there are approved methods and blah, blah, blah. I said I understood, but I couldn't guarantee that next time my prep would be adequate since I had such a difficult time with it. Oh, but I did fine, she said. I persisted. There simply
has to be a better way than gagging down more than a gallon of icky goo. "WHAT?" she said. "What do you mean, 'more than a gallon?'" So I told her the deal - how I got the prescription and its instructions to mix up four liters of solution and everything. She told me there are two OTHER preps that could have been used, requiring drinking only one quart. It was
my turn to say, "WHAT??? What do you mean, 'ONE QUART?'"
Why didn't anyone tell me the alternatives? Why didn't they ask me my preference?
Unbelievable.
I guess it's funny.
Well, maybe it
will be - later. MUCH later.
But still...
I
did have the BEST Mothers Day weekend, sandwiched between its inauspicious prologue and exasperating epilogue.
down, and I didn't want it to end! I can't give a better recommendation than that.
